Good Grief

Good Grief

It's not really sadness that I feel. I guess it's remorse? I wish that we had had just a moment where it felt like she cared. Maybe I just wish I had had that one 'motherly' moment with her. Or a moment of her opening up and telling me she regretted things. Or missed me, or thought about me, or was proud that I turned out know, all that kind of stuff.  No more maybes, right?

The Mechanics Of Love

As a very young child I was taught that nothing was given for free.  There was a price for everything.  If I wanted to go to a friends house, if I wanted someone to come over, if I wanted a new toy, if I whatever...I just had to be there to give in order to get.

Love was not based on emotion, it was just a word.  "Love" was what you did to get what you wanted.

It begins with a baby on a bus

Don't get me wrong, aside from the dark and dirty secrets, my grandparents were good to me, they provided well for me, and I loved them because they were all I had and I knew no different. They were FAR better than the alternative of growing up with the people who gave birth to me.