Hardened Criminal - Part 3 - The Riot

So, I was back in county jail. And this time it looked to be for quite a while.

My deal for a reduced/misdemeanor sentence was revoked, I was a felon now and I was going to do 2 years.  

Happy Fucking New Year.

The jail was getting severely overcrowded at that point and many of the prisoners waiting for space at the county mental institution were bunking in our block.

Each small 5x8 cell was still maintained by one inmate (thankfully). There was one metal platform bolted into the floor to sleep on, there was a non-flammable mattress pad and a narrow metal writing desk, bolted to the floor. There was also a small metal shelf to store your toiletries. 

Those who were overflow inmates had mattress pads lined along the outer walls of the block. At the time there were about 8-10 people, all mentally unstable to some degree. 

Luckily I got a cell and wasn't forced to stay in the common area.

I was cell #1. What that meant was that I had to be the first one up and out of my cell in line for breakfast, and most everything else, but I was extra nervous about not being late to get in line as that caused quite a disruption among everyone. (That may be the reason I am chronically early to everything now)

Like usual, most days were spent playing spades and smoking hand rolled cigarettes. I much preferred to buy packs of smokes but those were super expensive and I didn't have a ton of commissary money, so I got pretty frugal. The one splurge I loved was getting the big bag of Koolaid. Not to make and drink, but to just lick it off my finger like one of those FunDip packages. It was cheap and it was sugar - all good things! 

I also occupied part of my time by having a little flirtmance with one of the dudes on the laundry crew. We would slip letters and food offerings back and forth during laundry exchange. It was nice to have something to focus on that didn't include ticking off days.

Unfortunately, this bothered CatGirl. 

CatGirl was one of the overflow women in our block. She was super thin and stalked around much like a cat on prey. She had really dark skin and would stand in the shadows just outside my cell at night and just stare in at me, it freaked the hell out of me.

Most days she just spent her time slinking around the outer walls of the block, she didn't really interact with anyone and when she did, it was usually fairly aggressive. I just tried to stay away from that shit - until the day that I couldn't.

I don't remember how it started, but I can tell you how it escalated and ended.

She came at me.

And, of course, my first reaction was to swing - hard. Unfortunately, I missed her face and punched the cinder block wall - hard.  There was some wrestling around, some scratching, punching and pulling, and then everyone else began getting involved. 

People were grabbing and yelling and hitting others and chaos was in full effect. There were way too many people in that block and too many unstable emotions mixing.

As I looked up I saw one of the ladies I hung around with coming towards us with the industrial sized hot water dispenser. I ducked away just as she proceeded to dump it on CatGirl.

There were screams of pain and guards rushing in yelling and then - 

LOCKDOWN

We were punished by having our cells searched where they tossed every single thing in your room looking for contraband, we were strip searched and we were all in lockdown for 24 hours. My friend with the water was placed in solitary. CatGirl was placed in the infirmary.

My hand was swollen and hurt so fucking bad and my knuckles were scraped up and bleeding from the concrete but, you know what, I felt like a bad ass. I was in a motherfucking jail brawl y'all.  ;)

Achievement unlocked.

Now, of course, when my husband tells the story, It was a giant prison riot with shivs and gangs and I was the one who dumped the scalding hot water on her. Cuz, you know, I'm hard like that. LOL.

I really don't remember what happened after that, but somehow, after they factored in all the time I had already been in jail and all the shock time I did and the fact that they were severely overcrowded, I was only in there for 3 weeks and they let me go.

Just go,
leave,
walk away. 

Time served.

There was no probation, no restitution, no nothing. 

Seriously?

All the shit I went through and I could have just sat there for a few more weeks at the very beginning and not had to jump all those bullshit hoops of probation? 

Son Of A Bitch!

I returned home to my grandparents and went back to high school to finish off my senior year.  There were just a few months left till graduation. Of course, I was told I wouldn't graduate because I was half a credit short. I sure as hell wasn't going to take their stupid correspondence course to get it because if I wasn't going to get the pomp and circumstance of graduating with everyone else then who the fuck cared. I sure as hell didn't.

I was headed full steam ahead to Reckless Blvd with no chance of slowing down.

Hardened Criminal

Beginning of my junior year. I was rocking a bad perm and an impressive mullet.

When I was in high school things had been really strained at home. I had been acting out - a lot. The previous couple years had seen me go to a foster home and my grandfather looking at a long time in jail - everything happening at home had completely blown up.  (another story, of course) But, we were stuck together and we just didn't talk about anything and pretended nothing ever happened. Life went on.

I finally got my own car, a shitty little black VW Rabbit. I put red pinstripes on it and installed a cool new stereo with a cassette player  - it was awesome, at least to me it was. I was free to finally get out and explore the world on my own, hook up with friends, and guys, and get into trouble.

 My grandparents found out I was dating a black guy. Holy fucking hell - they freaked the fuck out!  I never really saw people in colors. It never really occurred to me that they were different or should be treated different, I just saw everyone for who they were - weird, right?  In fact, most of my friends were black, didn't matter to me one bit. 

I loved art, it was really the only class in school I was good at. I always struggled in classes. By high school I barely made over a C in any class. Thankfully it was the last year before changing the requirements before graduation - even though it didn't matter. I didn't have enough credits to graduate anyway. In the end, I was 1/2 a credit away from being able to. Half a fucking credit. I should have gotten half a credit for self preservation and survival skills at that point.

I didn't ever really realize they were racist until I brought my friend Andrea home after school one day when I was a sophmore. I don't remember the conversation but it was one of shock and surprise. Mainly on my grandfathers part. Of course, my grandmother and Andrea's mom went on to be great friends and my grandfather grew to like Andrea too. It was pretty hard not to though, she was one of those people who had personality for days. 

Anyway, even though they accepted Andrea, they absolutely forbid me to date a black guy. So, of course...you know how that goes. 

When they found out, they took away my car and sent me to live with my aunt in Michigan for the summer. They even sold my car and bought a new tv, a vcr, and a satellite dish.  You know, those gigantic ass monstrosities that they were in the very beginning? Yup - they got one of those.  Which really made no sense since they only watched like 5 shows on regular tv, but whatever.

It wasn't long after I got back that I began to fall into my old routine. I started smoking again and hanging out with the wrong people again, and a few right people, who liked to do the wrong things. 

It wasn't more than a month into the start of my senior year that shit began imploding (again). I was getting into trouble all the time, having to lie all the time, dating guys who were abusive to me and I was not going to change any of it.  So, my parents kicked me out of the house.

I really had no place to go. I was sleeping in the laundry room of some apartments near a park. There were a bank of big storage boxes where people could store laundry baskets and detergent and stuff. A number of them were empty so I would sleep there at night because it was warm and safe. A few times, a good friend of mine would let me sneak into his house during the day after his parents were at work and they were at school. Obviously, school for me was a bit difficult.

I got really good at stealing everything, because I had no money. I had to adapt. 

Senior year. I was there at the beginning, got my picture taken. Never did get that Senior portrait session everyone else got to do. I was also there at the end of the year, by court order. Never got a year book, got to watch everyone excited to graduate, excited for the parties, excited for college. I was half a credit away from being able to join them all. God I was stupid.

One night, my friends came and all crawled in different laundry boxes with me. I will never forget that night, it may have been the most meaningful thing anyone had ever done for me at that time. Nobody had ever cared about me that much. But Trish did. She became my family.

She let me move in with her family. Well, her mom let me move in, but it was all because of Trish. She was this super strong, independent, beautiful girl with an attitude that you did not want to fuck with. Man, I admired that. I wanted to be 'tough' but I was so far from it. I was insecure and damaged but I learned a lot from her. She made me strong when I was with her. I was confident for maybe the first time ever. 

Since I had no clothes or any of my stuff, I decided to go home and get some things while my grandparents were out.  Only one small problem. They had changed the fucking locks on me. THEY CHANGED THE FUCKING LOCKS! 

I was pissed. I mean what kind of "Tough Love" bullshit was this? 

I decided to break the window in the door to the garage and go in to get stuff. While I was there, I also decided that they owed me a little so I took 3 or 4 of my grandmothers credit cards. Bitch had a master collectors set of credit cards, one for every store that was available. She wouldn't even know they were gone.

You know what happened next.....shopping spree, bitches!

I hit Macys, JC Penny, Dillards. I took my friends to have lunch at the fancy Dillards restaurant, multiple times, I bought everything and anything I remotely liked - and even some shit I didn't. I didn't think twice about anything - fuck them for kicking me out, fuck them for making me the dysfunctional human I was, fuck their bank accounts,  just fuck it all. I didn't give two shits about it any more.

I had a great time living with Trish and her family. It was party central in her house, for real. Her mom would spend many nights a week at her boyfriends house so we could basically do whatever the hell we wanted. It was awesome. 

Most days I'd take her to school, I'd skip most of the time, and I'd go to the mall and steal shit and come back and sell it in the parking lot after school got out. I was the queen of Swatch watches, Trish and I would have arm fulls of them and sold them for $10 a piece. "Wanna buy a Swatch?"  

Shortly after one little stunt, a "Vacation from Carbonation" we called it, I had to move back home. See one day Trish and I woke up and decided to just get in the car and drive. No destination planned, no money in our pockets, just go. And what an adventure it was. I look forward to telling that one, but it's a full post on it's own.

Of course things were tense. I was home as little as possible. I'd go away and stay wherever I could.

Some time passed, I don't remember where I was living or with who, but and I had gotten a job at a Sizzler or some crap-ass place like that.  One night, I see a couple police officers come in, probably to feast on some of that high quality gourmet steak, only they didn't. They went to talk to the manager who then turned and pointed at me.  I must have looked like a deer in the headlights standing there with dirty dishes in my hands. They escorted me to an empty banquet room where they placed me under arrest and walked me out in cuffs. My career as a professional slop waitress was crushed in an instant.

My past was catching up to me. 

The credit cards I had taken the previous year from my grandmother had been reported as stolen. Somehow I guess I had just expected my grandparents to pay for all that crap.  Looking back, I was so fucking stupid, of course. But at the time I thought I was doing damage to them, not myself. 

I was charged with felony theft and placed in county jail. Now, I had been to many city jails throughout Kansas City, even saw my name in the Grandview jail cell written by an ex-boyfriend. But going to county....fuck. This shit was real and I was scared to death.  

They processed me, strip searched me, humiliated me, and finally took me to a cell and locked the door behind me. I damn near pissed myself.

STAY TUNED FOR PART II